Tell me she's not gorgeous!

When Kim walked into the Yurt with Zuva this afternoon, dressed in her summer's best, my heart lept with joy at seeing her look so totally gorgeous. What a funny business this parenting gig is. Full of surprises. 

Hands

 

just watching

It's a pleasure to watch as Zuva's mouth makes all these delightful shapes as she experiments with making sounds. What a joy. And her eyes fairly sparkle as she does it knowing that she has captured our attention. 

so in love

Six weeks now and she is starting to communicate with her eyes and with sounds that are totally delightful - and fun totry and mimmick :) a sort of gutteral aggggha, and something that is almost a chuckle. What joy!

On the move

It was warm and sunny yesterday, and Zuva had some time to play naked on a new blanket. It was such a delight to see her intention to move, even though the body parts are not quite coordinated sufficiently yet, she was happy to keep trying.

You can see her efforts to get her tongue into her mouth - she has almost made it a few times over the last week - it won't be long. She often settles with someone's finger in her mouth, and if she has her own to use it could be quite helpful.

A few nights ago, without a finger, I had the most beautiful moment of singing her to sleep, singing Pökarekare ana, and rocking her gently, while cradled in my arms. It could also have something to do with the sore back I have at the moment :)

She is looking quite strong at 5 weeks.

Sleep . . .

. . . is the main activity.

Today I setup the stereo in the newly covered yurt where Zuva was born, and listened to the birthing music selection that we played for most of the time when Kim was in labour. The memories came flooding back and carried with them all the emotions of that extraordinary night.

I have processed a lot around the labour and what it put me through. Without playing down, even one little bit, what Kim went through, I also had my own not insignificant process. This was what we had hoped for and visualised - that she and I would essentially go through the labour together with minimal input from anyone else, and Beatle (our midwife) honoured this fully.

I had to revisit the birthing night a few times shortly afterwards, to release the emotions which I had held back on the night. During the labour I experienced waves of emotion, that if I had allowed myself to express them fully, would I suspect have made it difficult for Kim to feel fully supported as she processed the contraction pains, which were coming on top of each other for several hours.

In conversations with friends it occurred that to be a male support person is not common, and I had modest little preparation, apart from the usual ante natal classes. All that being said I wouldn't do it any other way. To be there for the entire labour and then at the end of it, greet my daughter and cut her cord, is a memory that will be with me forever.

More beautiful every day

What a joy.

Zuva is feeding well and starting to grow and put on weight.
She was smiling quite a lot today, what a delight!

Another picture as requested :)

A sweet blessing

A card was waiting for me in the letterbox as I went for a walk on Saturday morning. The natural paper envelope hinted at something special. As I walked towards the beach I tried to guess the sender's identity by the handwriting which was familiar - but she alluded me.

I wanted to honour the feeling, and waited until I was at the beach in the soft morning light then carefully opened the sealed flap with the sharp edge of a shell. . .

Thank you sister, for your lovely welcome of Zuva.

Rare moments

All is well,
All is well,
All is well.

Her four names

Zuva
This name came as we were nearing the end of our time with the people of Kufunda Learning Village, when Kim was mid term. Zuva means Sun in the Shona language of Zimbabwe. The Sun, and all it represents, has been a big part of the play of our relationship.


Clare
This simple form of the name appealed to us. And makes a connection through the letter "C" to her Grandmothers - middle names Constance and Catherine. It's meaning in Latin is bright and famous.

Waiata
Her Maori name came as a gift from our friends Hirini and Ruth on the morning of her birth: Waiata - or Song. There is more to the word. Wai is water. Ata is morning or dawn. The birds sing at first light. They welcome in the dawn. The song of life.

Samuel
Kim chose this early on. Neither of us like double barrelled surnames and we are both confident that she is our daughter and we don't need to claim her with our name.

Mother is everything

my attachment betrays me

i call you my baby girl
my beautiful
my angel
my special

i sing to you
my heart breaks
my attachment
betrays me

my body is on fire
everything is changing
there is new life
there is hope

this is time
for courage
for community
for grand visions

knowing
we are not alone
knowing
we are one

speechless

Indulge me

I have become one of those parents who I used to wonder about, who take pictures of their offspring ad infinitum. I am putting this little video clip here, partly because I can!



You will need a fast internet connection. And in today's tradition of txt message smiley faces you will have to turn your head on one side to appreciate it :)

2 days

Mother and baby are doing great. We had lots of visitors this afternoon. It was lovely to share her with everyone, and great to return to the quiet of the three of us again this evening. We are in our babymoon.

Blessings abound

A letter from Hirini Ready. . .


Kia ora James, Kim and new daughter

Nau mai mokopuna
Mai i pari nui te ra
Wai heke
Wai ora
Wai ata e

Welcome sacred one
From the birthplace of the Sun
Cascading Water
Life Giving Water
The Song of Life


Congratulations on the birth of your daugher. Much love and joy to you and Kim. Perhaps one of the names for your daughter could be Waiata - or Song. There is more to the word. Wai is water. Ata is morning or dawn. The birds sing at first light. They welcome in the dawn.The song of life.

Much aroha

Hirini


And this letter from Ruth Tai. . .

Kia Ora James and Kim, 

Thank you for sharing your beautiful moments. Today the energy was high and some powerful confirmations came through. I felt the energy shift upon waking at 5.30am. What a blessing as she heralds our return to the island of cascading waters (Waiheke). It is very significant. I support Hirini's suggestion for the naming (Waiata).

We have a tradition called the Maioha which is the call of welcome to baby. Yesterday as I was thinking of your baby and her journey through the canal, I started calling to her to help welcome her in. This maioha I first chanted when my friend Atarangi's first grandchild was born nearly three years ago. I have called babies in with it ever since and this year added our Haka energy. 

Part One of the following was the maioha I sent out yesterday. Part two is to acknowledge her presence and to thank you both for stewarding her through and providing her the haven she deserves.

Much Aroha

Ruth Tai and family

The wonder is the wide and supportive community that this soul has chosen to be born into. I am deeply grateful for you all.

sunrise yurt water birth

Here she is at 5 hours.

I can hardly begin to describe the emotions.

Kim's waters broke at 10:00pm last night, contractions started at 11:00 and we were in the birthing pool at around midnight. It was an ordeal for Kim, and for me as the support person, of eight hours of intense contractions, almost without break.

I retreated from the yurt to the house for a few minutes around 6:00am, leaving Kim in the very capable and gentle hands of Beatle our midwife. Claire, Danielle and Sonia had been up all night and were hanging out in the kitchen while the girls (who had also been up and popping into the yurt from time to time) watched "Mrs Doubtfire." I could hardly contain my emotions, it was so hard watching my lover go through such pain, and I took a moment to breakdown and let my own tears flow.

Once outside again I looked at the stars for a few minutes then Kim's crying called me back.

When the moment finally came it all happened very quickly. We had been out of the pool for about three hours, when Kim felt it might be helpful to go back in. Within half an hour, at 6:50am her hairy head pushed through and on the next push it was all over. She came straight up onto Kim's chest to be embraced by us both and she gave a few little whimpers, but looked straight at us with big inquisitive eyes.

She held her head up and looked strong and serene. A perfect baby was born in a candle-lit yurt on a clifftop, in a birthing pool just as the sun came up!

just checking

From 11:00pm contractions were coming strong and quite frequent, but inconsistent. The night was spent ferrying pots of boiling water from the stove to the pool, while Beatle and Kim chatted about the mystery of the labour process.

The yurt was ringed with candles, soft music playing, and by 2:00am the birthing pool was yummy and warm. We relaxed in it for a while, finally going to bed at 3:00am.

We slept until 6:30, then woke up to this. . .

three days to due date